Pick My Brain

what I am thinking about. 

what goes on in my fucked up head.

but no one cares. 

not even I do.

Just get though another day.

and another day. 

Is this what you call living? 

waiting. 

waiting for someone to be on my side.

It’s a battle I’ve been consistently losing. 

I am waiting. 

waiting for someone to see it like I do.

It’s been a struggle to always defend myself.

I am getting nowhere in this battle. 

its in my mind.

goodbye tumblr.

i cant stand to look at at it anymore.

I have realized, I am the problem.

Except I cant swallow my pride.

Because for once in my life,

I have realized I cant do it by myself anymore.

Except, no one will understand.

I will drag my lifeless body around

Because for once in my life, I’ll stick to what I know.

wake up, class, homework, bed

wake up, class, homework, bed

wake up, class, homework, bed

routine, routine, routine

its not everything i’d thought it’s be.

get it together.

you can do it.

you have to do it.

I’m sorry.

The heartfelt words have become meaningless and routine.

I am in a constant state of remorse.

I don’t know what else to say, but I’m sorry.

Isolated, punished, unable to make up for my mistakes,

it has caught up with me.

Actions speak louder then words,

but I am unable to show you I am trying to make amends.

I want forgiveness,

but when I think of all the times I have said I’m sorry,

I can’t even forgive myself.

So Ill continue to live in the past, unable to think about the future.

to stop thinking so much.

(via roughandtoughstuff)

its morning again but that means i got through another day.

and tomorrow when it’s morning again,

ill know i made it through another day.

Because I really just count down the days,

but I don’t know what I’m counting down to…

I slam the door shut just so I can see if you will stand outside the door and knock.

The only problem is, no one has knocked yet.

Everyone walks away because I’ve shut the door.

So don’t believe a word I say,

because most of it is just to see if you will knock or not.

I really don’t want you to leave.

I want to be the person you talk about.

I want to be the person you want to be around.

I want to be the person you call every day.

I want to be the person you trust.

Right now, I am just the person you are worried about but I want to be your FRIEND.

Just one day I’d like things to go my way.

But then, I might actually have a good day.